jorden.

its kind of weird, that my last entry makes no sense to me, and im on the verge of another breakdown.
i just really want a single good person in my life, someone that will listen, and not make fun of my ridiculous
reasons to be so worried. yesterday i had a reality check from the guy mentioned in my previous entry. and
im just gonna say, it HURT. its the 4th time just THIS YEAR that ive had something not work out with a guy
i really liked. and i cant help but feel that theres something wrong with me.

i just really hope this all blows over before i decide to jump off the nearest building.
also, i got asked to audition for the guitarist spot in the umbrella thief [theonlypositivethinginmylife] .

take a deep breath.

Tags: whatever.

Current Mood:	confused
Current Music:	i will follow you into the dark - death cab

0edipus

let my love open the door.

havent been on in quite a while, life's okay.
things have been better before. some things are harder to get over than others.
atleast i have him. and he's amazing.

Current Mood:	tired
Current Music:	Everyone's Rooting For You - Sondre Lerche

0edipus

delayed.

ive been M.I.A with this lately, (mostly cause i dont ditch class anymore and became strangely addicted to that 70's show). but a few things have changed since my last update. funny how a month and a different clique can change your perception on everything. relationship wise, i have definitely moved on to bigger and better things, lets just say that flowers were delivered to my front door earlier today, and i really couldnt be happier. ive also decided to widen my interest varieties and get way more into art and reading (especially chuck palahniuk novels). as for the one thing everyone knows me for, hellogoodbye is passe and overplayed. and so are the other "pop punk" ~*~*bandz everyone is drooling over. no thank you. next.
i have about a hundred pictures i want to post which i will most likely do when i run out of things to read around my house. as for now, i am suffering from a minor concussion and i need to lay down and try not to fall asleep.

goodnight.

Tags: update.

Current Mood:	accomplished
Current Music:	Lola - The Kinks

0edipus

"i think youre perfect"

uh hi, disregard my last entry. i think i was PMSing or something.

anyways, i thought id update real quick cause i have a delicious vegan double chocolate cake in the oven and i gotta take it out and head to brett's place in 15 minutes. hes seriously one of the most amazing people in my life right now. even though he is kind of my boss we have a legitimate friendship, and those are kind of difficult to find nowadays.

spring break is next week and such, and im more than relieved that im almost done with school.
june needs to hurry up, the next months before are worth no more than a few more songs written and a couple more books read.

Tags: jorden, life, spring

Current Location:	Long Beach
Current Mood:	good
Current Music:	Farewell To The Pressure Kids - Kevin Drew

0edipus

a pretty idiot is kissing everyone she doesn't know.

its been a month. and i'm already crying 7 words into this entry. i have the guy ive been dreaming about since i was 12 wrapped around my finger, but i could care less. cause you're not still out of my head. i miss you so much. i know you haven't been around long enough for me to say that and sound sane, but its true. im ready to admit the fact that i want you back. every time i think about what we had, what we did, how i felt when i looked at you knowing you were mine, i cant help but smile to myself. but then i am reminded that its no longer there. i know i cant have you back, but i just needed to let this out. dont take it personally.

"But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?

So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way"

Current Mood:	disappointed
Current Music:	KC Accidental - Broken Social Scene

0edipus

back to square one.

last night i attended my 45th hellogoodbye show, and i must say it was one of the best times I've had seeing them. despite the fact that earlier that day forrest posted a bulletin on hellogoodbye's myspace, in which he publicly bashed me; i had to call 3 of my closest friends to be reassured of whether i should still go or not.
fortunately i decided to be the bigger person and just go, because after all, i do love their music, and its the main reason i fell in love with them in the first place.

they got on stage around 7 pm, and as soon as forrest got on, he made eye contact with me, smiled and mouthed something at me, but i returned a glare and mouthed "soooo mad at you" back, he asked why but i didn't have time to say anything back because he was rudely distracted by the crew setting up the stage.

after a predictably amazing performance of "baby its fact" and "oh, it is love" me and my friends left the front row and went to the back to find all the teeny boppers already awaiting the opportunity to maul forrest and the other guys (aaron flora! ryan daly! chris profeta! and travis!). but finally, after taking pictures and mingling with the other fans, he stopped infront of me and chatted with me and a few my friends minutes before fat joe took the stage. and let me just say not seeing him since december didnt seem to matter until he was actually infront of me,
i realized how much i missed him and how much he did really matter to me. how talking to him every day on aim during the summer made me incredibly happy, and i just wanted to hug him foreverrrrrrrrr.

i cant wait until april, im flying out to see him in michigan with my best friend for her birthday, and im literally counting down the seconds. asdlkfjas;hdj. he makes me so happy.

Photobucket

Photobucket

ah, he's amazing.

Tags: carson daly, hellogoodbye, love, music, shows

Current Location:	my room.
Current Mood:	nostalgic
Current Music:	Blue Skies - Jaymay

0edipus

uh oh.

i feel like im stuck, as if im not going anywhere with my life. i dont even know what college i want to attend yet. all i do know is that i want to do something in the music and media industry, whether its being an intern or a composer. because im starting to feel super worried, it seems to me as if everyones just head of me and are ready to start their careers next week.

~~and the worst part is, is that he's still on my mind, even though i shouldve been over him weeks ago.~~

Tags: college, jobs, life, love

Current Location:	long beach
Current Mood:	worried
Current Music:	Home - Great Northern

0edipus

venting.

i thought id make another livejournal, i needed somewhere to post all my pictures/thoughts
and whats a better place to do so then a 7th grade trend web site?!

anyways, its 12:45 am, and im going out for a drive cause i need to think.
pch, here i come, praying i wont get a curfew ticket.

comment to be added. <3

Tags: firstentry, jorden, random

Current Location:	my room.
Current Mood:	thoughtful
Current Music:	Ghost - Neutral Milk Hotel

Advertisement

jorden.

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · User Info

Advertisement